Aging and Emotional Health

Friday, May 26, 2006

Aging and Emotional Health

I'm almost 60 and I'm not looking forward to it. When I turned, if that's the word, 50, I became
depressed for about five years. It was a psychological shock to say the least.
Aging and body changes are a natural progression of life but not something I've been easily able to embrace.
I became very aware of my mortality at 50 and also because of my mother's death in 1979 at the age of 58.
I see wrinkles where there weren't any before, extra weight around my middle -but then, almost immediately after my late IL died, I gained weight relatively easily compared to the nine years prior to her death-skin tags everywhere and my jawline isn't as firm.
I have emotional and mental health issues and am struggling to get counselling to learn to deal with getting older. I have fibromyalgia and OA which doesn't help and adds to how I already feel.
I see many people in the acting field....Candice Bergen, Diane Keaton, former model Lauren Hutton, just to name a few and only hope I can look as good as they do. One women I really admire, Gloria Steinem, I believe she's in her early 70's, looks amazing. I know another woman, a friend, who's almost 60 and she's quite stunning. It's not that I'm engaging in comparative-itis, just that I've noticed these older women who physically, look younger.
I've always thought that Mrs. G. W. Bush appeared old enough to look like her spouse's mother with her snow-white hair and read that she would never change her hair and in looking at my spouse, I don't ever want to look old enough to be his mother, not that that's rational thinking.
I've been told twice within the last two or three years that I looked to be in my 60's or that I was my sister's mother. That cut deep, really deep. My low self-esteem, went even lower, if that's possible.
I belong to a Canadian listserv of women in their late 50's and up and we call ourselves "Webcrones" as in, wise, older women, never mind what the dictionary says about crones.
If any woman feels as I do or looks forward to getting older, maybe you can share your feelings with me. I'd like to hear from you.